Am I Expecting Too Much From My Boyfriend?

Dear Ms. HeartBeat:
What does it mean when my boyfriend does not want to do things for me? When I mention what it is he says he is not doing it because it is what I want. I may ask him to pick me up from the supermarket or to put his phone down when we are spending time together but he always says no.

On the other hand, if he asks me for anything I get it for him or I do it right away. Even if he suggests I do something differently, I try it.

Am I expecting to much from my boyfriend or am I being a pushover for his selfish behavior?

Signed,
Possible Pushover

Dear Definite Pushover:
Get rid of him – he is not the one.

If you are spending time together, he shouldn’t be focused on his phone and all those folks. That means he is not focusing on you. A woman should not have to ask her man to pay attention to her when they are spending time together! If you have to beg him for interaction and companionship, then what is the point of being with him?

If you need him to do things for you and have your back – basically to help you get through life easier as you would do for him – but he refuses to do it, then it means you are left alone to handle things by yourself just like a single woman! If you have to do everything yourself, then what is the point of calling yourself having a boyfriend?

If he asks for things and you do it for him, but you ask for things and he always says no, then it means you are being used and are nothing but a convenience. He is selfish, arrogant, conceited and a jerk.

You are much too giving and being a doormat.

Start telling him “no!” Next 50 times he asks for something tell him no. Augment your “no!” with creativity by saying “hell no!” or perhaps “what do I look like – your mother? No!” or ” I don’t think so home boy – No!” or “Well that’s not gonna happen, no!” or my personal favorite “Not happenin’ Cap’n, no!” My Dad’s favorite is ” When hell freezes over and all the little Devils go ice skating! So No!” or the brush off no which is “Hmmm. Well, good luck with that!”

You get the idea? You need to start standing up for yourself, stop being so self-sacrificing, and stop acting so desperate. You deserve to have a relationship where your needs for support are being met. Otherwise all you are is something for him to use in every way possible.

You need to read my book The 24 Types of Suckas to Avoid, because this guy is definitely one of those suckas no woman should ever involve herself with.

There are all kinds of way to say “no!” to men. I suggest you use each and every one starting today. Once you start telling him “no!” and are no longer his patsy slave, I’m sure he will want to leave and go find some other dumb girl to use. Won’t matter because YOUR problem with this sorry dude will be solved.

MsHeartBeat

Relationship and dating advice columnist of Ask HeartBeat! Has enjoyed dishing out insightful yet hilariously funny advice, tersely worded reality checks and "let me slap you upside the head" wake up calls to men and women around the globe since 1991.