Homecoming dance drama between best friends

 
Dear Ms. HeartBeat:
I want to go with my best friend to homecoming and I’ve already told her that I want to go with her and that she’s pretty much my only chance for a date and she says she wants to go with me too but then she tells me she doesn’t want me to ask her for 2 weeks so she can see if anyone asks her. In other words I’m her back-up date. Should I be mad?

Signed,
Feeling Rejected

Dear Rejected:
No! you already told her that she is your only chance for a date, which definitely puts HER in the “back up default person because I have no one else at all” category. That isn’t the least bit flattering you know. So you are only getting your own medicine back. If you get mad you need to be mad at yourself for telling her some ego smashing mess like that in the first place.

Sir, you set this dynamic in motion. I know you are only in high school, but its important that you learn how to talk to women if you want to be successful with females during college and on into adulthood. You must think about what you are saying to women, because females FEEL language in addition to HEARING the words. Your choice of words caused her to feel deflated, dejected, second rate, unattractive and about as interesting as a dead roach.

If you wanted her to be excited and looking forward to going to the homecoming dance as your date, the words you used should have been something like this:

You:  Hey! I want you and I to go to the homecoming dance together. You are my best friend and I really enjoy being with you. We always have such a great time together. I cannot imagine having more fun with anyone else. What do you say?

Her:  Oh how sweet! You really feel that way? Oh boy! Well that’s so nice. I’ll be happy to go with you!

You:  Thanks so much. I know you could have any number of guys take you and it would be all romantic and stuff, but I’m glad you are going to go with me. It will be a special evening that I’ll remember the rest of my life.

Her:  AWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!! 🙂

You:  Okay, so we can talk about the time and all that later, okay?

HER:  Okay!!