No, We Don’t Teach Others How to Treat Us

Dr. Phil and other male relationship experts love to say “we teach people exactly how to treat us.” I disagree with that statement with every ounce of my being. If you notice, it is always MEN saying that phrase to WOMEN about their interactions with abusive, cheating, lying, manipulative men. Why? Because they want to place the blame for egregious male behavior on women, instead of telling men not to act like asshats.

See, when a woman is walking down the street or riding in a subway car, and a man fondles or gropes her body, where is it that she taught him to treat her that way?

When a teenage girl is at a party and pinned into a corner by a football player that outweighs her by 100 lbs… who won’t let her free unless she kisses him or more, where is it that she taught him to treat her that way?

Enough already - stop with the b.s.!

When a woman is walking down the street and a group of guys in a car catcall and whistle, then insist she get into the car with them, and when she refuses they throw bottles and full cans at her, how exactly is it that she taught them to treat her that way?

When a woman is out on a date with a new guy and he lies like a dog to manipulate her reality, how exactly is it that she taught him to treat her that way?

When a family goes to church to worship God, and the children of that family are preyed upon by other members of the church or even worst, the Pastor himself, how exactly is it that any member of that family taught those men to treat them that way?

When a man attempts to pick a woman up on the street, then turns around and calls her names or punches her or shoots her when she doesn’t respond the way he wants, where did she teach him to treat her that way?

When a woman is out with a man she thought was a friend and someone she could trust, yet he drugs and rapes her, where exactly is it that she taught him to treat her that way?

And when a single mother trusts that a coach at a famous University is mentoring her child to help make him the man she cannot make him on her own, but said coach molests and rapes her child, where is it that she or the child taught him to treat them that way?

The statement “we teach people exactly how to treat us” is meaningless drivel, and nothing but an excuse for evil men to avoid taking responsibility for the way they treat women. As relationship experts with the ears of women nationwide, these men should be hanging their heads in shame. You are not helping women by blaming them for being victimized. Stop attempting to put the blame on women for being tricked, lied to, manipulated and used by men.

For women in a long-term relationship, it is not advisable for you to stay once you know you are being tricked, lied to and manipulated, for sure. Get out of that relationship as soon as it is feasible and safe for you to do so. Police intervention and a shelter may be necessary if you don’t have resources to do it on your own. But even that does not excuse a male’s 100% total responsibility for lying to, tricking and manipulating you.