Seven Dumb Things Women Believe About Relationships

When He is Jealous, It Means He Cares About You

"Girl I wish my man cared about me like that. He is concerned about you girl. Some of these men don't even care!" This one is designed to make a woman that feels uncomfortable about how her man reacts to a perceived threat okay with his behavior. Key word here is "perceived" because men that are overly jealous see a threat in every face, in every action, and in everything you wear. Their goal is not to feel less jealous, but to get control. It may start small – with judgmental critical comments about your clothing, your friends, or your makeup. If you are out with your friends or alone, he calls often to "make sure you're okay," but what he is really doing is keeping tabs. Most jealous men lose control and become abusive, then blame you for "making me jealous." If your man is acting a jealous fool, demand that he stop acting silly and grow up. Do not feed into it or try to coddle or reassure him. Make sure he understands that his jealousy will cause you to end the relationship. Never believe that his ridiculously jealous reaction means he cares more about you than a man that does not express such sentiments. All being a jealous fool means is that your man is extremely insecure and most likely has low self esteem.

If You Get Pregnant For Him, It Shows How Much You Love Him

This is about the silliest mess ever. Why women believe that it is necessary to sacrifice their bodies, their time, their lives and futures to show some jack leg man how much he is loved is beyond my understanding. A baby is not a tool to use to control a man's whereabouts or to secure a commitment. Look around! Men leave women that are pregnant with their child or that already have a child by them every day of the week! Bottom line ladies, it is not a woman's responsibility to show a man how much she loves him – it is his responsibility to prove to you that he deserves to have your love. . Children should only become a part of a relationship when HE has shown YOU how much HE LOVES YOU! If a man refuses to marry and legitimize his offspring, the privilege of fatherhood should be denied him without question.

Be Freaktastic in Bed… That's How You Get and Keep a Man

A belief in this nonsense reduces men to nothing but a penis and women to empty vessels good for nothing but sex. Though many men are certainly only after sex from as many women as they can get it, you will never "get" nor "keep" a man by having sex with him. A woman should never expect that having sex with a man will guarantee that you get up the next morning with a committed relationship. Men fall in love with women that tell them "no sex before commitment or marriage" all the time! Reality here is that no matter what kind of porn star moves you do, if a man is not into you emotionally, he won't be with you for one second longer than it takes to satisfy his sexual needs. Ignore any woman stupid enough to think sex alone will make a man fall in love with you and stay by your side. It hasn't worked in 2000 years, and it won't work today either.

You Don't Do It For Him, Some Other Woman Will!

Women make these statements to create a sense of desperation and an environment of anxious fear for other women. Females that believe this nonsense have the lowest self esteem of any group, as they bend and fold themselves into pretzels with the goal of pleasing and keeping the attentions of a man. He will continue to ask you to do more and more, pushing the envelope ever further just because he can. Until you draw the line and establish boundaries and limits, there are men that will take you down as low as they can. When you sacrifice who and what you are to please others you will eventually feel lost, confused and deeply ashamed. A woman must never allow herself to be threatened or coerced into any type of relationship, behavior or sex act that she is not completely comfortable with. Honoring yourself means that you behave in ways that elevate your spirit and pride in yourself. You should never behave in ways that cause you to feel embarrassment, humiliation or shame in an effort to please a man or keep him from leaving. If he wants to go, he is eventually going to go anyway, no matter what you do.

Be Happy - At Least You Got a Man!

Women usually hear this one when they are concerned about how they are being treated by the man in their life and they turn to friends or family for advice. Many women have been socialized to believe that no matter how educated or accomplished they are socially or professionally, they are still considered unsuccessful as a woman because they are single. So what she will hear as advice is "Girl a piece of a man is better than no man at all, stop complaining because he doesn't make you happy. At least you got a man!" This statement is said with the conviction that having a man should be considered the sole and most important goal for a woman's life. These women encourage other women to stay in miserable relationships and sacrifice their spirit and very soul just to maintain the alliance, as if this man is a prize stallion instead of a loser. Such women never focus on the male's character, integrity, morals and values, or devoted respect for his woman – the things that make women happiest in their relationships in the long run.

You Can't Be So Strong, You Have to Let a Man Be a Man

You go to your friends upset that the man you are interested in failed you in some important way which required that you step in and get the job done all by yourself. Or, you discuss how you refuse to be a doormat and have established standards for behavior that he must meet in order to be with you. Instead of getting support to ease your hurt or solutions to improve communication, you're told "If you cater to his needs and let a man be a man, he will like you more and fall in love with you." Again, the focus for women like this is on securing a man and doing all she can to manipulate him into a commitment. What is the point when you would have to continue bending over backwards and manipulating to keep him around? When would you ever be able to relax and just enjoy the relationship you have if you are on watchdog duty 24/7? And what is it that you would be gaining from the association if he is not being required to give of himself and meet your needs in return for all your giving? Women must abandon the mentality that they have to give more and expect less from men in order to have a "happy relationship." Men must be held accountable for their treatment of women and their handling of their relationships. Remember, real men do not need a woman's permission or cooperation to be a man. Women do not define manhood, men do!

What Did You Do to Drive Him Away?

You go to your friends in tears that your man has cheated on you. But your friends have a curious reaction: They don't get angry at HIM, instead they focus on YOU and your possible culpability in the affair. "What did you do to drive him to that other woman? You need to figure that out then do better girl!" This goes hand in hand with the women that believe if their man cheats, it's somehow the other woman's fault and not their man's for sticking his stuff where it doesn't belong. This sick mentality attempts to make females assume complete and total responsibility for male behavior, treats men like children, and places blame on the victim instead of on the individual that committed the crime. Understand that a woman with a male-dominated mentality will be quick to assume responsibility for "making" a man do or not do something. The other woman is deemed a "home wrecker" or to have "enticed" a man away from his relationship or marriage. In reality he went to the other woman of his own volition as he made the conscious decision to cheat on you. Christian women are the greatest proponents of this type of thinking, so you will find a lot of this in the religious community. Black and Latina women have been indoctrinated by the religious guilt of Christianity, which blames females for pretty much everything men do. Men of all races have historically been only too happy to perpetuate the fraud and make women responsible for their lack of commitment and honor.

Though there are literally dozens of silly things women tell each other about men, love and relationships, these are the seven which I believe cause the most damage to the female spirit; they are also the most counterproductive when it comes to developing a fully honest and truly intimate romantic partnership with a man.

If you agree with any of these beliefs, work on adjusting your thinking. Make smarter choices in love, choices that are in your own best interest and that enrich your life and the women around you. Love should never hurt or require that you make yourself feel small so that your man can feel that he is more or better than you.