Three Frogs Walked into a Bar…

Three frogs walked into a bar, the fourth frog ducked.

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Why are frogs so happy?
They eat whatever bugs them!

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What does a frog wear on St. Patrick’s day?
Nothing!

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What did the frog dress up for on Halloween?
A prince.

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How many frogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One frog and 37 light bulbs, slippery hands, ya know.

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Whats the preferred car of frogs?
The Beetle.

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What’s green and jumps?
A frog!! (groan!)

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What’s green and red?
A very mad frog.

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What’s green with red spots?
A frog with the chicken pox!

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What’s green with bumps?
A frog with the measles!

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What’s black and white and green?
A frog sitting on a newspape r.

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What’s green and dangerous?
A frog with a hand-gre nade.

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What’s white on the outside, and green on the inside?
A frog s andwich!

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What do you say to a hitch-hiking frog ?
Hop in!

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What happens when two frogs collide?
They ge t tongue tied!

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What kind of shoes do frogs w ear?
Open toad!

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What do frogs do w ith paper?
Rip-it!

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What is the first book a tadpole reads?
Metamorphosis by Kafka.

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How does a frog feel when he ha s a broken leg?
Unhop py.

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What happens when you mix a frog with a bat htub scrubby-mit?
A r ubbit!

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Why did the frog read Sherlock Holmes?
H e liked a good croak an d dagger.

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What happened to the frog’s car when his par king meter expired?
I t got toad!!

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What do you call a frog that crosses the road, jumps in a puddle,
and crosses the road again?
A dirty double-crosser!

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What’s green green green green green?
a frog r olling down a hill

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What is a frogs favori te time?
Leap Year!

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Why did the frog go to the mall?
Because he wanted to go hopping .

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I was walking down the alley one day and I saw a frog kicking a can.
I ask ed him what he was doin g.
He said, “I’m movi ng!”

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Why did the frog walk across the road?
He didn’t… he jumped.
Why did the frog cross the street?
because the chicken crossed the road.
Why did the frog cross the road?
to see what the chicken was doing.
Why did the frog cross the road?
Some mean little kid super-glued it to the chicken.
Why did the frog stop in the middle of the road?
To get hit by a steamroller
Why did the frog stay in the middle of the road?
He ran after a fly and was hit by a car.
Why did the frog cross the road?
If a chicken can do it so co uld he!

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How can you tell if a frog doesn’t have ears?
You yell “Free Flies” and he doe sn’t come.

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How do you confuse a frog?
Put it in a round bowl and tell it to take a nap in the corner.
How does a frog confuse you?
When he c omes out and says he ne eded that nap and feels much better.

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How do you apologize to a witch?
Ribbit!

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What did the frog say to the fly?
You are really starting to bug me!

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What does a frog say wh en it sees somethin’ gr eat?
Toadly awesome!

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What do you call a frog with no legs?
It doesn’t matte r- he won’t come anyway .
What do you call a frog with legs?
Dinner.

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What did one frog say to an other?
You’re such a WART!

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Why did the frog croak?
Because he ate a poisonous fly!

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What is a frog’s favorite game?
Croaket

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What did t he frog order at McDona ld’s?
French flies and a diet Croak

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W hat does a Romulan frog use for camoflage?
A croaking device!

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What happened to the cat and frog when t hey got run over?
The cat had nine lives, the frog just croaked.

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Why did the frog s ay meow?
He was learning a foreign language.

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How come the frog didn’t get to be t he Easter Bunny?
Slip pery hands…they were afraid he’d drop the eggs!

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Why did the fr og go to the hospital?
He needed a “hopperation” !

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What is the thirsti est frog in the world?
The one who drinks Canada Dry!

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What’s red and green and goes 175 miles an hour?
A frog in a bl ender.
What do you ge t if you add milk?
Fr og nog!
What happens if you drink frog nog?
You Croak!

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What do ya call a frog’s favorite soda?
Croaka-Cola!

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Why d id the motorcycle rider buy a pet frog?
To pick the flies out from between his teeth!

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“Waiter… Wa iter… Do you have frog legs?”
-“No!… I always walk this way!”

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“Waiter… Waiter… Do you have frog legs?”
-“Yes Sir!”
“Then hop on over to the kitchen and get me a peanutbutter and jelly sandwich!”

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How deep can a frog go?
Knee-deep Knee-deep!

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What do stylish frogs wear?
Jumpsuits!

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What does a bankrupt frog say?
“Baroke, baroke, baroke.”

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What has more lives that a cat?
A frog that goes croak every night.

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Why did the frog go to the bank with a gun?
He wanted to robbit.

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Why are frogs such liars?
Because they are amFIBians.

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How can you tell a frog doesn’t have ears?
They don’t move when a car is coming toward them.

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What did the frog do after it heard a funny joke?
It started to croak up!

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Why did the gag-writer turn green?
Cause the gag-writer was sick of writing frog jokes!