Why do guys always wanna know if you are a virgin?

Dear Ms. HeartBeat:
I am totally confused and curious about guys always asking if you are a virgin. I don’t know about other girls, but when I meet a guy and we start talking over the phone getting to know each other, that question always pops up. I tend to not answer, because either way he could be trying to get with me for the wrong reason. The thing is, they never explain why they ask that question.

My question to you is WHY do they always want to know if you are a virgin??? What could be their intensions?

Signed,
Curious

Dear Curious:
A young man will ask you this dumb question for several dumb reasons.

#1 by asking if you have had sex already, he will get a general idea of your morals and values. Many men are very conservative when it comes to female sexuality, and think that women that have sex are nothing but whores. Some guys are so intimidated by the fact that you have had previous lovers that knowing you’ve slept with someone else triggers every insecurity they have. They can’t get the thought that you had better sex with a guy that is larger or more satisfying out of their heads.

#2 he is asking to assess how much work it will be and what he will have to do in order to have sex with you himself. Most guys figure if you’ve already ‘given it up’ before he came along, that you should have no problem sleeping with him. Their typical line is ‘well, its not like you’re a virgin and haven’t done it before!’

#3 if you are not a virgin, he can work the conversation around to sex, sexual experiences, what you enjoy sexually, and then inquire when you might be planning to give him some. Lots of guys are very sexist, and perceive a woman’s value based on what has gone on with her vagina. He determines her value as a woman based solely on whether she is a virgin or has had multiple lovers.

Answering such a question when you are just getting to know a man is stupid. I’m glad you have more sense than to fall for this game. Responding to this inappropriate and very rude question is a losing proposition for a female. No matter what answer you give, you’re setting yourself up for drama and to be judged.

The best response you can give when a man asks you this question is to say “why do you want to know?” Make him give you an answer. Then, no matter what reason he gives for inquiring about the status of your vagina, be sure to let him know that he is out of bounds and being highly disrespectful for even asking. Then ignore the question. Really, I’d get rid of that guy because he shows a marked lack of respect for women and signs of not having the least bit of manners and couth.

In other words, males that behave like this are idiots and should not be given the time of day, let alone a response. What a woman does with her body, with who, and when is none of his business.