Wil I Ever Have a Boyfriend If I Don’t Have Sex?

Dear Ms. HeartBeat:
I was talking with a few guys today about how I am waiting until marriage to have sex. The response I got was totally distressing. They basically told me I am crazy, because I am missing out on a whole lot. My comeback was, how am I supposed to miss something that I haven’t gotten a chance to experience? But they went on to tell me how my current boyfriend is not going to stay with a girl who isn’t giving him any. I told them that he loves me then he’ll stay. But they all laughed and said that no man in his right mind would stay with any girl if she isn’t giving it up, and if he seems to be doing so then he’s getting it from someone else.

This got me thinking, what if they are right? What if he is getting it from someone else? What if he cannot wait?

Those guys also mentioned that its good to at least have one sexual experience so you know what your doing when it comes to your wedding night. Then they joked about how my stuff might be all old and dusty if I don’t experience sex now. I feel that a guy should want to be with me no matter what and if he loves me that’s all that should matter, he can hold out until marriage right? (which is in at least another 6-7 years). What do you think?

Signed,
Warwick

Dear Warwick:
The guys are attempting to use what is called “peer pressure” on you to get you to do what they want you to do. Guys love it when girls think they must have sex with them to “get a man” or to “keep a man” when in reality, sex has never done either. Even having a child by a guy won’t make him stay if he doesn’t want to. I wish more young women would get that fact through their heads and stop letting these use fear tactics (the threat of being single). Such behavior by males is nothing but game.

A man that respects and loves YOU will be with you without sex if that is what you want and you are firm about your moral and/or spiritual stance. What I suggest you do is go back and find the guys you were speaking to, the ones that claimed a guy will leave a girl that won’t give it up.

Ask them this one question: How many of you fell in love with and stayed in a relationship with the girls that did give you sex?

That should shut them up.

MsHeartBeat

Relationship and dating advice columnist of Ask HeartBeat! Has enjoyed dishing out insightful yet hilariously funny advice, tersely worded reality checks and "let me slap you upside the head" wake up calls to men and women around the globe since 1991.