Talking to People I Have Nothing in Common With

Dear Ms. HeartBeat:
Some people seem to be really good at small talk and connecting with strangers they meet. I struggle with it and feel I am wasting my time but I want to do better and connect with more people. How do I talk to strangers even when I feel we have nothing in common?

Signed,
Wondering Dude

Dear Dude:
How do you know that though until you talk to them? See, you are making judgments based on who knows what. You cannot do that based on looks, socioeconomic status, or your own prejudices.

I’ve met some of the most educated, interesting people that were homeless and looked like bums. People who had divorces and lost everything, or suffered a health crisis and lost everything, or who had some mental or emotional problems and couldn’t keep their life on track. Now they are back mentally but homeless and look awful so no one cares that they have a Masters degree or PhD in something because they look like a bum.

There are non-profit organizations and individuals that help homeless men get straight by providing them with a haircut, a shower, and/or clothes for an interview all across the country. The transformation in these fellas is absolutely amazing. They stand straighter, their confidence soars, and they go out and try to get back on their feet with renewed vigor.

Sometimes talking to strangers gives you a different perspective on the world, on life, even on yourself. Sometimes after talking to others you realize how entitled and narcissistic you are and realize you have time to change before the end of your life. Sometimes you find out that you have more in common with people that you initially thought because the human experience of loving, living, failing, struggling, sacrificing, striving, discovering and winning are universal!

Stop being such a stick in the mud. Open your mind and broaden your horizons. Look for what you DO have in common with other human beings vs. what you DO NOT. Your life will be enriched for it.

MsHeartBeat

Relationship and dating advice columnist of Ask HeartBeat! Has enjoyed dishing out insightful yet hilariously funny advice, tersely worded reality checks and "let me slap you upside the head" wake up calls to men and women around the globe since 1991.